Staying with Myself

Am I inspired to stay with myself as a result of the love of love or a fear of pain? There's a difference.

Samadhi - Bliss

I've been in and out of states of bliss. The bliss seems to come when I don't live from ego...basically when I don't give all the thoughts in my head any attention. It occurred to me yesterday that I did not want to listen to the radio or any music. I just wanted to listen to the music that the silence of my heart makes. It was so beautiful. There is a profound song in Silence. It occurred to me that Silence and Love are the same.

It was wonderful to experience not giving rise to any thoughts at all. I used to be terrified of not thinking. I thought that I wouldn't be able to function. But that is the exact opposite of the truth. While I was working for a client, I was not thinking and I was functioning at a higher level. I was totally immersed in Love. I took more time and care in my work. I had kind and loving interactions with my client and his employees. I took better care of my body and my needs. Usually I would rush through my work and not eat to be able to leave as quickly as possible. But in not thinking, I was very clear that I had worked to my limit and it was time for me to eat. It may sound amazingly obvious and simple. But usually, I would have a bit of a war in my head about whether to continue to push through work or eat...or eat at my desk....or...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, I went to eat. I took my time. I enjoyed my food immensely. I had a wonderful interaction with my waitress. I went back to my client. I went home. All this in bliss, with no thinking happening. There is a Silent, Loving, Intelligence that takes quite good care of us and our actions. It was only my thinking that I was doing it, or taking care of everything that caused me stress and confusion.

There were absolutely no worries in this blissful Love. None. Worry is a thought that is a function of the mind. Worry is not our nature. In Love, I was only aware of clear intent and conviction in action or non-action. I swear I've almost worried my life away. My tendency is to always be in my head replaying or worrying about something. Fuck. How boring. Why continue the torture?

Thoughts did come back. Ego did arise again. There were some thoughts that I began to pay attention to. The bliss went away! lol But my awareness of myself has not gone. And in recognizing this, I am back in bliss. :) There doesn't need to be any judgement about whether I'm thinking or not thinking, or whether I am following the ego or not. And in this recognition, I am back in bliss. :)

I also realized that Simone is a contraction of the mind. Scientists tell us that the Universe blinks on and off...into existence and out of existence. Like this, the mind blinks on and off. It opens and contracts. Simone is just a contraction in the mind with ideas and notions about any and everything. And those ideas and notions create 'Simone's life experience'. Simone is a contraction of the mind that takes everything personally. Ha ha! Oh what a joke. Also, I saw that the experience of bliss was a result of Simone opening out of the contracted mind and resting in Silent, Intelligent Love. And then, I was even more profoundly in bliss. :)

Then, I received an email from a friend entitled, 'The beauty in Silence.' ! I saw opportunities for my life goals that I'd never seen before. Everything was flowing perfectly. All without Simone THINKING or DOING anything but resting in Love.

By resting in Love, it becomes clear that Simone is a temporary hologram, projected out of Love. It's like movie characters being projected on a movie screen. When I go to the movies, my attention is on the movie actors and I get caught up in the movie called 'Simone's life'. But the movie characters aren't real, nor is the movie. It's just a projection that looks and seems real. But whether a movie is being projected or not, the movie projector remains. Love is the projector. :)

OK, enough for now. Peace.

Consciousness and Spirituality

Not too long ago the spiritual teachings of Eckart Tolle and the like were part of an underground spiritual movement that few dared to even consider, much less take to heart and actually live by. I can remember hearing how there would be an awakening of consciousness on this planet that will catch like wildfire. It was said that everyone will have the opportunity to walk in the consciousness of Christ, Buddha, and other great sages and saints. Instead of worshiping great beings who were awake to the truth of themselves and creating a religion around them, humanity would realize that they are the Christ and the Buddha. It was said that humanity would realize we are all one loving consciousness, temporarily appearing as separate forms. And now, here we are!
The powerhouse we know as Oprah has taken alternative spirituality to the mainstream. What used to be realizations and insights that I held privately in my heart are now words being spoken back to me from the mainstream and even my father telling me that he's reading 'A New Earth'. God is amazing. God. Consciousness. Love. Emptiness. Me. You. However we want to describe this undeniable, present force that pervades every fiber of all that exists, in an out of time, it doesn't matter. What matters is that it IS. It exists. It is real. And, it is good! The most gratifying part of waking up has been to realize that this being that I am, always have been and always will be, is indescribably wonderful, beautiful and miraculous. I remember talking with my former spiritual mentor who through our conversation, helped me to experience that I was LOVE itself. For just one moment, out of time, I experienced the vast goodness of myself. It was so beautiful, I put my head in her lap and cried like a baby. It was like nothing I'd ever seen. I've yet to see anything as beautiful anywhere in this world.
And now, more and more people all over the world are being given the opportunity to experience this LOVE in and as themselves. I pray all beings everywhere wake up to this LOVE. We live in crazy times on a very sick planet. We are killing ourselves and each other. We hate ourselves and each other. We abuse ourselves and each other. We have been physically and mentally enslaved. And even though there are no shackles on our hands and feet, we still enslave ourselves with limited and fearful thinking. We have had genocide committed against us. And there is still genocide happening in this world but we aren't really doing anything about it. We have been locked up in concentration camps. And even though we may not physically be in a concentration camp, we lock still lock away and try to kill parts of ourselves that have been deemed ugly and unholy. We have desecrated our bodies and we have desecrated the Earth. Our minds and our bodies are the culmination of thousands of generations of being violated and violating. But LOVE is bigger and stronger than a trillion years of violation. LOVE is the answer, simply because LOVE is all there truly is.
It seems that all we can do is have our life be the answer to the problems we see in the world. As we live our life in LOVE then that is the answer to everything because everything is in us. I don't mean this in a metaphoric, hocus pocus, abstract way. I mean this is a very straight-forward, real way. The problem and the answer lies in each of each of us. I pray we choose to be the answer.

No limits

How many times have we heard, "There is no limit to what you can do"? Well, I'm happy to say that I'm finding this is true. I have to admit that while hearing someone tell me I could do anything was inspiring and heartwarming, at the end of the day, I didn't really believe it. I was experiencing a world full of lack and limits and ignorance. So, from my perspective, if I could do anything I wanted to do, then why the hell wasn't I doing it? I was giving and doing my best with what I felt I had and what I had been taught about the world.

It was my belief that I was limited in what I could do, that actually caused it to be my experience. Luckily, deeper than my limited belief was a sense that there actually was no limit to what I could call into my life. I went on a spiritual search and started reading Deepak Chopra, Neal Donald Walsh, A Course in Miracles, Iyanla Vanzant, Ancient Kemetic texts, Papaji, Ramana Maharshi, Abraham-Hicks, Seth, Bashar, Marianne Williamson, Neville and many others. All of them, in their own special and specific way, letting me know that there is no limit to what I can do because I am not limited. If the beginning and end of how I identify myself is as a body or mind, then of course I believe I am limited. Simply because the body and mind is limited. But when I know myself, without doubt, as unlimited, vast, free, overflowing LOVE, then I know that I can call into my experience whatever it is I want. As Maxwell said, "Whenever, wherever, whatever." I have experienced this many times. We all do every do every day.

One of my favorite practices is revising the past. Neville talked about this in his work. Ancient Kemetians also established this as a means of healing and spiritual enlightenment. It works. If there is something that happened, and you wanted it to go another way, you can imagine how you would have liked the situation to have played out. The key is to feel good. What makes this even more powerful is if you imagine the situation as you want it to be, as if you are actually there, seeing and feeling and sensing everything about the situation. As Neville says, instead of imagining of what you want, you imagine from what you want. And once you've tapped into that, you feel a sense of fulfillment that it is done. You feel good. And then, you will see your present situation shape itself based on what you revised the past to be. It is awesome to behold!

One of my favorite quotes from a spiritual teacher was from Papaji. He said, "First, wake up! Then do what you want." I hear him saying that most importantly, wake up out of the nightmare that we are limited. Wake up to the undeniable truth that we are LOVE. Once this is established, do, be, have, create whatever you want. Then, our creations are extensions of our love for ourselves and all beings. They are no longer extensions of our self-hatred, insecurity and ignorance.

LOVE

Love loves love. Love overflows in love. Love is eternally loving and expanding out more and more in love. I'm in love with LOVE. I am LOVE. All is LOVE.

I am struck speechless when attempting to describe this love that springs forth in every moment in the delight of itself. It is the Divine Secret as it can't be spoken because to speak it would imply it could be summarized by a thought or a word, and therefore limited...which it is not.

It's such a trip how beautiful, pure and exquisite this love is that penetrates every fiber of existence, and right along with it is the drama of life. What is most difficult to understand is how the negative drama of life that is contained in LOVE, can convince us that we are ugly, sinful, wretched, worthless, shameful creatures who are separate from LOVE.

It is said that when the mind, which is the cause of negative drama, rests in LOVE, then the negative drama transforms into a fulfilling drama. People have called this the 'Buddha mind' or simply, an open mind. A mind that releases all past notions and stances based on the past and remains open to being flooded with the intelligent LOVE that is always present.

Buddha mind, which is a mind that is one with God, which is a mind that is one with LOVE, is what I am most intrigued by now. I'm finding that the more my mind rests in LOVE, the more obvious it is that my mind is creating negative drama. I'm finding that I'm becoming more interested in peace of mind than fearful thinking. I'm finding that Buddha mind heals the past, present and the future. The more places that are healed, the more room there is to experience LOVE.

I love LOVE.

I'm baaaacck!

Hiiiiii! I'm back y'all...

It's been a few months since I've posted. So much has happened! Life continues to unfold perfectly. Even when I'm struggling with something or worrying or crying, it's all perfect. It's easy to see the perfection of life when things are going well. But can I say my life is perfect, even when things don't seem to be going my way? It's a challenge. Life is a challenge. I'm finding it can either be an agonizing, destructive challenge where I see myself as a victim, or it can be a joyous, healthy challenge where I see everything is for my growth. It's totally up to me. Will I see myself, other people, situations and my life through the eyes of fear, or will I see it all through the eyes of love? Sound cliche...ok maybe even corny? Maybe. But it's a really good question if I really want to be happy. I've found that seeing through the eyes of fear leads to misunderstanding, miscommunication, insecurity, malice, jealousy, manipulation and perceived setbacks. Seeing through the eyes of love leads to growth, gratitude, humility, humanness, beauty and miracles.

While there are some things in my life that are under my control, there are also some things that aren't. I think the essential issue with wanting to control things is the false notion that changing the external circumstances of a thing or a situation will bring me what I want from that change. Maybe I'm looking to control something so I can experience peace, release and happiness. And sometimes it is absolutely appropriate to change the situation. But I am finding that most times it takes a change in my perception of the situation to truly find and feel the meaning of all situations in my life. And from this new perception, I can make the appropriate decision. I'm finding that when my perception and decisions are made from love, not fear, it is blessed. It is a sacred act I have committed for myself and all involved.

Leave comments...let me know what you've been up to...

Insights

Healing is Feeling is Loving